


Up In Flames

by meredithhildebrand



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz being the angsty emo that he is, Boys In Love, But it's all fine, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, and now he finally has him, because all he really wants is Simon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 15:16:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10993545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meredithhildebrand/pseuds/meredithhildebrand
Summary: His lips are warm against my skin, and I don't know what it is, but the smell of him, the feel of him, makes me kiss him a little bit harder. Makes me hang onto him a little while longer.He makes me go insane.





	Up In Flames

**SIMON**

 

 

It's getting late, and on a normal night, Baz would've left by now. We're sitting on the sofa, holding hands, with my head on his shoulder. He still smells like cedar and bergamot, and I can't imagine myself ever getting tired of that smell.  
I lift my head off his shoulder and look at Baz, whose staring at his laptop. The bright white light illuminates his face, making it seem paler than it actually is.  
I tilt my face upwards, and I kiss his jawline, and I can feel him beginning to smile. That's one of my favourite things about Baz; the way that his eyes begin to light up and the corners of his mouth curve upwards in a grin.  
"Simon, you're staring," he whispers, and he turns his head so that he's looking at me.  
"I know," I reply, and Baz lets out a soft laugh that doesn't sound like him, but at the same time, completely does. He lets go of my hand and runs his fingers through my hair, and his eyes are dreamy. He looks enchanted, and my cheeks begin to grow warmer.  
Baz grins and kisses me, sending a warm ache through me and setting my insides on fire. With each kiss he gives me, I come a little more undone every time.  
I sit up a little farther so that I can reach his mouth better, and I swing a leg over his hips so that my legs are on either side of his. I feel him shudder against me, and I cup his face in my hands, letting my fingers hook around his ears and slide into his dark hair. It feels like silk between my fingertips. Baz's arms wrap around my lower back, and his palms press me closer to him. His lips leave my mouth and he kisses down my neck, kisses my collarbone, kisses my jawline. His lips are warm against my skin, and I don't know what it is, but the smell of him, the feel of him, makes me kiss him a little bit harder. Makes me hang onto him a little while longer.  
He makes me go insane. 

I don't think he knows it, but if he did, he would be smug about it for the rest of his life. He would never let me forget it. 

 

**BAZ**

 

The feeling of Simon's warm mouth against mine is beginning to grow dangerously intoxicating, and my head is growing hazy with thoughts of him. He knows that if he keeps kissing me like this, that I'll go insane. In the best way possible.

I kiss him fiercely, and I wrap my arms around him tightly and everything is beginning to feel like _Simon Simon Simon Simon_. 

I would do anything for him. Cross every line, every boundary, that the world has to be with him. He's what keeps me sane. 

_I'm in love with him._

My head goes hazy and I feel like I'm drunk on the thought, and I never want to let him go. I still can't believe he's mine.

I grasp his shoulders tightly and push him down onto the couch so that he's beneath me, and my eyes open. 

His bronze curls are messed, and the glowing, vibrant blue of his eyes makes me go weak in the knees and makes the world envelope itself in colour.

Merlin, the glorious idiot has the ability to make me spout off words that sound like fucking Shakespeare.

And I love every second of it. 

I lean my forehead against his, and thread my fingers into his curls. Simon's hands are grasping my shoulders tightly and I swear that I've never felt more alive. He's a fucking supernova that makes my insides light on fire. 

"You're a fucking star," I gasp out, and Simon grins against me and kisses me so hard that my stomach gives out and I feel like I'm in a constant free fall. 

He's too bright to be real. He sets the world aflame. I don't think that I'll ever be able to not feel like I'm being set on fire whenever he looks at me.

He still feels like the sun to me. The only difference is that I'm not crashing into him like I used to be.

Simon grabs onto my face, and he kisses the tip of my nose. The movement sends an ache through me, making me want more.  

More of him, _more more more_.  

"I love you, Baz," he says, and his voice is low and deep and husky and hitting me in all the right places, making my head go hazy. 

He makes the world go up in flames. 

I kiss his mouth and wind my fingers tightly into his curls, slightly tugging on them. I know this makes him go crazy and I never get tired of watching him unravel. He's fucking beautiful. 

Simon gasps against my mouth, and I feel his arms wrap around my neck and he's pulling me closer, closer, _closer_ , until I don't have any room left to breathe.

 

**SIMON**

 

I push my mouth a little harder against his, and I hear him exhale heavily against me. I've never felt this close to another person before, and the feeling is almost exhilarating. 

"Baz," I whisper, and slide my fingers through his dark hair. He makes a noise in the back of his throat, and I feel it in my chest, traveling down through my lungs and down down down. 

He makes all of this too easy. He knows, he _knows_ , that I can't resist him, which makes me able to fall farther down this deep, dark hole with him.

And I don't even put up a fight. I just let him take my hand and I let him take me down with him. 

It's a glorious thing and I never want it to stop.

I can't resist him. I never have.

He's almost like a drug. He takes me and he pulls me in just long enough to make me want to beg for more. I never want to let him go. 

He still feels like a hologram sometimes. Too exquisite, too ethereal, for this world to hold. 

He deserves everything. _Everything_.

If I could, I would give it all to him. I would give him the world.

 

**BAZ**

 

Sometimes, he, _this_ , all feels like a dream. Too tempting, too incredible to be real. But at night, when I come home late and Simon wraps his arms around me and brings me down to our own shared universe, he makes it all feel real. 

I grab onto his face and look him in the eyes, grey and blue mixing, turning into the colour of a deep sea. 

"I love you, too, Simon," I whisper, and I press my mouth hard against his. I tangle my fingers into his curls and I feel him grin against my mouth.

I hope he knows that he deserves everything, because he does. 

This is still a twist of fate for me. I don't know if he knows it, but the fact that we have _this_ now, makes the world go hazy.

I open my eyes and lean my forehead against his. The sound of his breath mixing with mine is almost intoxicating, and I never thought that I would be able to have this. 

It's still overwhelming. _He's_ overwhelming. 

I'm not an idiot. I know how the world works, and the fact that Simon and I are together just seems as if the world forgot to really look at us. 

Because if I really am the monster that I believe myself to be, then I don't deserve this. I don't deserve _him_. 

 

 **SIMON**  

 

Baz's breath hitches, and he sits up, leaning against the back of the couch and tilting his head upwards so that he's staring at the ceiling. My body suddenly feels cold with the absence of him. I can see the wheels spinning behind his eyes and I know what he's thinking, and it makes my stomach bottom out and my head feel lighter than normal. 

He's easy to read, despite what he might think. I know him better than I used to, and even though there's still many layers left to him, I've peeled away so many and embedded myself into his bones.

He's almost like a part of me. And I can't bear to see him thinking that he's broken, or that he's worthless, or that he doesn't deserve me. 

Because none of it's true. It never _has_ been. He's too permanent in my life to be easily washed away, and I can tell that he still doesn't know that. 

And it makes my heart burn and ache and stumble because all I've ever really wanted for him was to be _happy_. After everything he's been through, he deserves to finally be happy. 

_Maybe even more than I do._

Baz lets out a breath and runs his fingers through his hair, and if I focus hard enough on the movement, I can see his fingers slightly shaking. His eyes close and I can see his chest rising and falling with each breath he takes, and I swear that he's never looked this vulnerable around me. 

"Baz, what is it?" I murmur softly. The sound drifts around the room, almost like a whisper of something undeniably  _more_. 

The room feels much too big for the two of us and I can feel the air twisting and unraveling around us, and for some reason, I think that I finally understand how silence can sometimes seem even louder than noise. 

Because this _silence_ , that holds more than we might think, and wraps around the two of us may just be too heavy and big and large for just the two of us to carry, and I already know that we won't be able to hold it if it crashes down on us. 

Baz turns his head and stares at me for what I swear feels like forever, and then lunges forward and presses his mouth hard against mine. Merlin, he always makes me want to light myself on fire. My body suddenly feels like it's being filled with heat, and something inside of me has awakened, tearing down the darkness and letting my soul finally be where it really wants to be. 

With Baz. _It's always been him. Always._

_It's always been him. Through everything and back again._

Loving Baz feels like losing everything and finding it again. It feels like light and dark are merging into one, it feels like everything and nothing all at once. It feels like crashing and burning and falling apart but knowing that he'll always be there to put me back together again. It feels like being saved, over and over again. 

He makes the world turn. 

 _Weightless_. _Completely and utterly weightless._

I tangle my fingers into his dark hair and grip his scalp, and his arms wrap around me and pull me closer to him. His scent of cedar and bergamot is filling my senses, making the world turn into _Baz Baz Baz Baz._

"I love you, Simon," he says, his voice hoarse. "More than anything." His hands grip my shoulders and his eyes lock with mine, blue against grey, and this...

 _This_ is what love is. 

_More than anything._

My breath hitches and I feel my body growing warmer, almost as if my limbs are set aflame, and I fumble around for his hands and grip them so tightly that my knuckles turn white. 

I look at his eyes, and they are so full of life and roaring flames and Merlin, I've never felt this feeling. 

I grin so big that my face starts to hurt, and I still can't believe that this is how my life turned out. I don't know what I did to deserve him.

Maybe, all those years ago at Watford when the Crucible forced us together, maybe it knew what it was doing after all.

It brought me to him. The thought makes my knees go weak and makes my heart skip a beat in my chest.

 _I love you too_ , I think back at him. I think he understands because he wraps his arms around me and kisses the moles on my face, and my skin tingles.

He sets my world on fire. He makes my insides light up in a supernova and he makes me feel untouchable.

He makes me feel infinite. 

 

                       ~END~ 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you all so much for reading, I hope that you all enjoyed it. I needed to write some Snowbaz like this because I'm in love with them.  
> Feedback is always welcome.  
> again, thank you all so much for reading!


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